Before It's Too Much

(I don't know if it needs a trigger warning, but I talk about myself briefly in the second paragraph, please skip it if you have any reason to worry about it)


To my readers, my friends in real life, my RP friends, anyone who comes across this, and myself a lot of the time:

I love you, and I promise this isn't just one of those things that I say without meaning, I am not that person. I think everyone is a wonderful individual, with talents and hopes and incredible things inside of them. I think that every person has the power to face the day, and I know that that is an incredible challenge for many people. I know that everyone has their own battle to fight, including - sometimes especially - the people who seem to have it the most together and who hide it from everyone around them who they care about. I believe that you are someone who can keep pushing through this, and I understand that I may be asking a lot of you.

I know what it's like to forget all of that myself. I know what it is to cut and burn and starve and hate every piece of myself and it be too much to look in a mirror. But I promise that even in the darkest of times and situations, the love from other people can shine through bright enough to help us back. If I would have let someone in when I was at my worst, I would have gotten better faster than I did, and I know this now because I relapse less now that I talk to my friends when I am triggered and before I do anything to myself.

I know that life can't always be perfect, but it can be better, I promise. Truly, it is impossible for it to stay rock bottom all your life, it won't be able to. Things slowly get better, you just have to keep trying, until one day, all the terrible things of now become just ugly memories, which taught you that you can survive. Even if it means that it might be your parents who are the ones hurting you or making things so impossible right now, it may just mean that in a few years, you can leave their house - even if just for a little while - and see what freedom is like. Honestly, it will likely take more time than is fair to you for things to turn around - because no one deserves this pain in the first place - but I promise that they will change for the better, and that is something you do not want to miss when you finally reach the other side to your happiness that you deserve. And if that means that between you and the happier times is hell on earth, than I swear to whatever power you do/don't believe in, that I will be there every step of the way if you want me to. And I also promise that I am not the only one who cares about you one way or the other. Even when life seems horrific and grim and unbearable, you are not alone. Please, if you ever need to talk, message me. I don't sleep much, so it's likely I'll be awake whatever your time zone is Just, please know that you aren't alone in this, and that I'm always going to be here for you, and that in real life, you can find those who care a lot for you too - it may be a surprise right now, but I swear that you are loved, and that you are important in this world, and that your life and your existence has meaning, and not just for you, but for all those around you too. And you are perhaps more loved than you ever imagined yourself to be, I promise you that.

Always, all my love and all my best wishes and all that I can give <3